There is nothing left in my way, but I’m held back. I can’t figure out what it is. But maybe I’m asking the wrong question.
Before you start pointing fingers, realize that the person who may well be blocking your way might be closer to you than you think.
DISCLAIMER: This isn’t easy. This might be downright hard. And ugly. And not fun. If it gets to the point of “You gotta do what you gotta do,” do you know what you gotta do? P.S. If you’re looking for easy, here you go, this is easy.
Others might not see the confidence that you feel. They might want to see “results” before they believe that you’re going to make it. But you don’t just feel it, you don’t just believe it. It’s more than you know it. You are it. It’s nice, right?
But they don’t quite get it. They’re in your way and they need to get out of your way. What to do?
My 13-year old would probably want to blast them out of the way with some fancy fantasy alien blaster weapon. Kinda messy, but I guess it would do the job. Might land you in jail and all that, but hey, you’ll have some followers in there, guaranteed.
What if they are close to you and not only would you be in deep doo-doo if you blasted them out of their shoes, but you didn’t really want to do that. You might like them. You may even love them.
“Whoa, dude. Take it easy. Aren’t we just talking about getting to the next level of success here? You’re talking about eliminating people you love. Slow down, cupcake.”
Let’s see how we can get by them without having them clinging to the side of the boat and adding drag to our smooth sailing vessel. Maybe they’re just standing there in front of you and all you need to do is take a step to the right (or left, as you wish) and pass them by. You don’t even need to say anything, you’re just moving forward and leaving them behind. You’re not abandoning them, you can still be friends, but you need to move along, move forward, do what you gotta do.
“But I could convince them that the path I’m on is the right one! That I’m destined for greatness and if they just have a little more patience, I’ll show them!”
Ach, schat.* Here’s the thing. If this is where you are and that is where they are, you’re going to have to pull them onboard–or cut them loose. They’re already dragging you down and you need to cut the cord and let them free … well, what you’re really doing is setting yourself free.
If you are so sure, so knowing, so being and you need to do this, then by all means, do it. At the end of the day or, whew, at the end of all days, which would you regret more:
- Not having fallen in line with the expectations of those around you at that time.
- Not having done what you needed to do.
#1 is, later in life, like a mole hill and #2 will be a mountain. But today, they’re near the same size. Today, they will get over it **. But today, you won’t get over it.
Yes, yes! This is it! Please tell me how to do this!
There are several options. Most of which you’re not going to like. I don’t like them either. But ach, ja.
- Stealth: Fly under the radar. Just don’t tell people what you’re doing. Keep it hidden as long as you can and when you’re at the point where it’s acceptable to go public (when the results are good enough for them), go for it.
- Fake it: AKA Fake it ’till you make it. Pretend you’re successful. Act as if you are. Please others. Tell them what they want (need) to hear to just keep them off your back. P.S. This is, in some circles, also known as lying and somewhat frowned upon. Maybe not the best option, but might be necessary.
- Evidence: Research and dig up evidence that your plan is a solid one. Highlight case studies of others before you who have succeeded and illustrate that you’re on the same path, you’re just getting started. This usually works well with more scholarly types who need evidence. P.S. It’s not a bad idea in any case! 😉
- Clean: Come clean. Talk it through. See how receptive they are to your plan. You never know. They might be open to it. They might shut you down. It’s a risk.
Have any other strategies that might work?
Oh, one last thing.
That person who might be blocking you from getting to the next level? That annoying roadblock of a friend who’s just in your way and won’t budge? The persistent family member who simply doesn’t get it, doesn’t want to get it and doesn’t even want you to get it? It may be, there’s a slight possibility, no guarantees here, it’s just a grasp in the dark that it could be no one other than you.
* Oh, dear.
** Or they won’t. Not your problem.
You ask yourself, “What’s holding me back?” But could the question be, “Who’s holding me back?”